tweet
n. A chirping sound, as of a young or small bird.
How nice. A simple word to describe one of the more pleasant sounds of nature. Now let's examine it used in context:
(Republican Congressman Pete) Hoekstra tweeted yesterday that the "Iranian Twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in House."Interesting. Did Congressman Hoekstra deliver his statement in the lilting warble of a Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker? No? Oh, I'm sorry. This must be the new, 2009 usage of the word, which apparently means to post an abbreviated (and, in many cases, ungrammatical) comment on a certain wildly popular social networking site.
Look, I get it. Twitter is a cultural phenomenon, and no self-respecting journalist would want to appear anything less than totally hip by failing to demonstrate mastery of the newfangled net slang that all the cool kids are using. But do we really need to coin a new verb (or in this case, commandeer an existing one in ridiculous fashion) to refer to a perfectly straightforward act, just because it happens to be performed using one corporate service instead of another?
Should I use a word other than "cut" or "chop" when I am slicing my arugula with a certified Ginsu(R) knife instead of an inferior brand of cutlery?
Do we need another verb for "sleep" when I choose to recline on a luxurious Tempur-Pedic(R) mattress as opposed to a straw mat?
No? I didn't think so.
So perhaps we can put an end to the idiocy and restore some semblance of sanity to the universe by bringing back such time-tested expressions as "posted", "wrote", or even the remarkably multipurpose "said."
Twitter stockholders, trendy tech critics and others with a vested interest in establishing "tweet" as part of our cultural lexicon may be disappointed, but you just might save sane, intelligent individuals around the world from having a freaking aneurysm.
